Last week I turned 41 years old, and I have to say, it feels good to be in this skin, in this body and in this mind frame. For many people, the teenage years are associated with fear, confusion, low self esteem, depression, etc... But for me, those feelings bombarded my head in my late 20's and early 30's. During that time, I carried such confusion about my life and my future. The things that used to bring me joy were no longer cutting it. I had no answers.
Early in 2010, my husband decided he needed to make some changes in his diet. I had nothing to lose and was feeling a change might be a good idea, so I eagerly joined him. We decided upon a daily morning smoothie, no meat for 30 days, no alcohol for 30 days, and our first 5K run that upcoming April. At the end of that month, I felt so clear, so light, so bright, so energized... There was no way I was stopping.
Because of the accomplishments of those first few goals, we decided that after 5 years of dating we were finally ready to get married. Our lives were suddenly filled with a future. I felt alive again after several years of spiraling downward. I couldn't believe it! And it had nothing to do with booking a gig, performing on a stage, or nailing an audition. What was happening??
After finishing with the craziness of my small wedding (I don't know how people plan big ones), I quietly made the decision that the world of show biz was no longer something I needed or desired. I didn't really talk about, I just slowly slipped out. With that choice, came more confusion and some sadness, but I dove into my new journey of becoming healthy inside and out. It became my mission.
Fast forward to 2016 - I am healthy (always working on it), I am proud of all my accomplishments, I am more confident, I have more energy, and the list goes on... but when I turned 40 last year, it was a bit of a shock. In my heart, I started having crazy thoughts. I began to notice other 40 year olds that were dancing around me. I thought, "I could never". My husband, being so intuitive, secretly purchased me private studio time so that I could dance on my own, alone, for me.
One year later, on my 41st birthday, I finally had the courage to get my butt in there and give myself a place to start. That's all I needed - a place to start. And although it was an emotional hour, I felt good. I felt good to be just doing it for me. For pretty much the first time ever, I was doing it for me. I think I'll do it again soon.
Early in 2010, my husband decided he needed to make some changes in his diet. I had nothing to lose and was feeling a change might be a good idea, so I eagerly joined him. We decided upon a daily morning smoothie, no meat for 30 days, no alcohol for 30 days, and our first 5K run that upcoming April. At the end of that month, I felt so clear, so light, so bright, so energized... There was no way I was stopping.
Because of the accomplishments of those first few goals, we decided that after 5 years of dating we were finally ready to get married. Our lives were suddenly filled with a future. I felt alive again after several years of spiraling downward. I couldn't believe it! And it had nothing to do with booking a gig, performing on a stage, or nailing an audition. What was happening??
After finishing with the craziness of my small wedding (I don't know how people plan big ones), I quietly made the decision that the world of show biz was no longer something I needed or desired. I didn't really talk about, I just slowly slipped out. With that choice, came more confusion and some sadness, but I dove into my new journey of becoming healthy inside and out. It became my mission.
Fast forward to 2016 - I am healthy (always working on it), I am proud of all my accomplishments, I am more confident, I have more energy, and the list goes on... but when I turned 40 last year, it was a bit of a shock. In my heart, I started having crazy thoughts. I began to notice other 40 year olds that were dancing around me. I thought, "I could never". My husband, being so intuitive, secretly purchased me private studio time so that I could dance on my own, alone, for me.
One year later, on my 41st birthday, I finally had the courage to get my butt in there and give myself a place to start. That's all I needed - a place to start. And although it was an emotional hour, I felt good. I felt good to be just doing it for me. For pretty much the first time ever, I was doing it for me. I think I'll do it again soon.
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